IT’S OKAY TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST
My default setting is to put my family and friends first. I’ve never been a people pleaser, but I am naturally a nurturer and caretaker. I love taking care of the people I love. I love seeing people happy. If you need me, I’m there. If you need something, I’ll figure it out. When my cup is running low and my social battery is on empty, who will be there for me and who will will simply be okay if I rest?
That sounds a bit selfish if you think about what people can do for you in return. What I meant by that is when I can’t get out of bed, is there anyone willing to come over and handle whatever for me or with me? Is there someone who will just sit and be there? Will people be mad if I can’t be there for them when I need myself at the moment?
Believe it or not, there are people who will not support the idea of you taking care of yourself or putting yourself first. I’m here to say that it’s okay to put yourself first.
REASONS TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST
- Healthy boundaries. Prioritizing yourself allows you to have healthy boundaries. I began to realized that when I put my morals and values first, the people around me changed. When I put my needs and wants first, people around me began to leave or became upset with me. When I began to create these healthy boundaries, my circle became a party of three, myself included. Prioritizing myself allowed me to set healthy boundaries. Having healthy boundaries allowed me to see through a clearer lense.
- Healthy Relationships. When you get to a point where you begin setting healthy boundaries, you will begin to see how you’ll be mostly surrounded by healthy relationships. After all, we can’t help those we work with or are forced to interact with. These healthy relationships are important and fundamental to us. They will you blossom without breaking a sweat and you may not notice at first. These relationships are the flowers we look forward to blooming in spring. They are special and should be held onto.
- A better mental state. When you prioritize yourself, you will begin to see your stress, anxiety, and depression take a backseat or disappear altogether. Think about it: Lets say you needed a day for yourself. You wanted to have a picnic alone in a field of flowers. Someone called you and asked you for a favor, but you know you need this day for yourself. If you simply take a rain check with that person and prioritize that picnic, the outcome would most likely be happiness, calmness, tranquility, peace, etc. Taking the day for yourself may continue to reward you on the day after. Remember, prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean that you’re being selfish; it means that you are take accountability and responsibility for your own well being. It’s called being self-aware and self-responsible.
- Happiness. If just knowing that happiness is a package deal when prioritizing yourself, then knowing that you can lead a fulfilling life should seal the deal, right? What could be better that living out the life you want. A life full of love and happiness. A life where peace is normal and laughter is routine. Prioritizing yourself will lead you to a life filled with happiness. Besides, a happy you means that your relationships and boundaries remain healthy.
- Better decision making. At some point in you’re journey, your needs and wants will become clear. You will learn more than you may have wanted to about yourself. Through this, making decisions that best suits you becomes easier. If going out Friday night doesn’t suit you, you won’t bother to go or come up with a lame excuse. Remember, “no” is a full sentence. You’ll be able to make life decision like career choice, choice of partner, financial choices, etc. without second guessing. It’s will be as if life is revolving around you.
- When your cup is full, you can give in an abundance. As I said before, I love taking care of the people I love. I also enjoy charity work. With that being said, if I’ve already given the shirt off of my back, what’s left to give? Prioritizing yourself means that you are able to care for others around you without burning yourself out mentally, physically, and emotionally. You can prioritize yourself and take care of others at the same time. It’s all about balance. Being there for others can become exhausting. Be sure to get that needed rest. Be sure to take that necessary time for yourself whether it’s reading a book, going to the park or taking a vacation. Whatever it is that you need and can afford to do, do it. Sometimes the best things are free.
- Be authentic. Stay true to yourself. As I said before, when you prioritize yourself, you learn more about yourself than you may have wanted to know. My favorite thing is scrolling on TikTok and seeing people being their best selves. There’s a woman on TikTk who Cosplays as characters like scream while wearing stilettos and sexy dancing to Trap music. I find her page hilarious and refreshing. Living in NYC, I am surrounded by authenticity. I stand out in my neighborhood due to my choices in clothing. It’s all on the blog. I wear my curls out in an Afro. I love it here! I love being myself. It’s freeing. I was born not giving a crap about society’s opinion of me. When I began to prioritize myself, I began to stop being afraid of myself and embrace who I am.
I can go on and on about all of the reason you should put yourself first. As I said before, prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean that you’re being selfish; it means that you are take accountability and responsibility for your own well being. It’s called being self-aware and self-responsible. Prioritizing yourself if essential. When you are healthy, happy, and fulfilled, everyone around you benefits too.
What has your journey been like? What difference do you notice after putting yourself first?
